Maurice.

Another thing:

I also have a new room mate called Maurice. That's 'Maureece' as they say en français.

He is a mosquito.

He likes to sleep in my wardrobe during the day so that I can't catch him and then come out at night just after I have switched off the light and sing me to sleep before he has a good old nibble on whichever limb happens to be emerging from my duvet. If no limbs are available he also enjoys my ears and my neck. But he is sneaky. He knows that I will kill him if we ever actually meet so as soon as the light goes on he creeps back inside the wardrobe.

Whilst at first he was annoying, if not infuriating, I appear to be exhibiting symptoms of Stokholm syndrome. Now I actually greet him when I hear his dulcet tones and I think he sometimes even may even be attempting to sing Coldplay.

So, Maurice, if you read this, and I feel like maybe its you who drains my laptop battery while I'm out, I have a message: Please not the face.